Fallen Angel
by Sugarbear16
Summary: They say your destiny is already written. Destiny is not a chance but a choice of what we do with the hand we are given. This is the life she led, this was her destiny. (AU Densi story once they meet. This is Kensi's life story)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is an AU story I guess it would be classified as I'm not really sure. It will tell the story of Kensi's past life and how her and Deeks path crossed before they ever met at NCIS. This is a Densi story eventually but this story will mainly be focused on Kensi and what happened to her after her father's death, how it changed her, and why she became the person she is today. I decided to write this story because as of lately I have been reading a lot of people hating on Kensi and its driving me nuts. Ok sorry for the rant. Hope you enjoy! **

They say your destiny is already written. Destiny is not a chance, it's a choice. Every choice we make, everything we do or don't do. Everybody we love, everybody that breaks our hearts, everything, it happens for a reason. A reason that at the time maybe unknown to us, but in the end we will know that reason, and our destiny will be revealed.

"Kensi, are you here?" Her father called out to her. There was no response. Donald already knew with out a doubt where she was, if she wasn't in her room, she was in her favorite place in the world.

He turned ,and headed out the front door that he had just came in only moments before. This time he headed around the back of the house, and towards the lake that bordered the backside of their property. It was beautiful here this time of year. It was the time right at the end of the summer when change was in the air. You could feel it, you could smell it, hell you could even taste if you tried hard enough. The lake was Kensi favorite place to escape to, whenever she was sad, or angry, or confused, this is where she would go to figure things out.

"I don't want to talk about." Kensi said as she heard her father's approaching footsteps.

"Don't want to talk about what?" He asked, as he sat down on the ground beside his daughter.

Kensi had her back propped up against the tree, she sat with her knees to her chest, and both arms wrapped around her knees.

"Whatever it is you came down here to talk to me about." She said as she turned to look at her father.

"I just wanted to know how your first day at school went?" He questioned.

"Just like all the others first days, at all the other schools." She explained.

"It went that good uh?" He joked.

"Anyone ever tell you that your since of humor sucks dad."

"Your mother always did. What went wrong this time Kensi?" He questioned.

"People, people are what went wrong." She said harshly. "I don't fit in anywhere. The girls are to whiny and the boys are asses." She explained to her father.

Donald laughed, "The boys are only asses cause they know you could beat them up." He said nudging his daughter's shoulder with his own. "And the girls, well… Ok I have got nothing there." Her dad replied.

"I don't belong anywhere dad. I'm just a broken mess, that gets moved around from place to place. I have no friends, no family besides you. Your all I have." Kensi said sadly.

He reached over wrapping his arm around Kensi's shoulder, "You know what they say about being broken Kensi?" He asked.

"No, but I have a feeling you're about to tell me."

"The most beautiful things are the easiest to break." Donald explained.

"Thanks dad. I think." She laughed.

"Come on, lets go get something to eat I am starving." Donald said, standing up from his position on the ground he reached his hand down to Kensi.

"Sounds good to me." She said taking his outstretched hand.

"What do you want for dinner?" He asked as they made their way back towards the house.

"I don't care as long as I don't have to cook."

"Cook are you crazy? I would never make you cook. Besides we just moved here I'd like to have a house left for a little while longer."

"Dad!" Kensi said.

"What? I cant help you take your cooking skills after your mother. Thank God you got your looks from me." Donald explained.

"Yes, lets thank God for that." Kensi said rolling her eyes to her dad, "I will beat you to the house." Kensi said right before she took off running.

"No fair! You cheated!" Donald called out his daughter.

**A/N: So this is the first chapter just trying establish the relationship with Kensi and her dad. What do you think? Thoughts, ideas, suggestions? I would love to hear them all. **


	2. Chapter 2

Kensi sat on the kitchen counter eating a slice of pizza, swinging her legs back and forth happily. She watched out the kitchen window above the sink, as the sky was illuminated with the orange glow of the setting sun. She was so caught up in her thoughts she was completely unaware of her father's presence until he spoke to her.

"Really Kensi?" Her father asked entering the kitchen.

"What? You said you didn't care what we had for dinner." Kensi said defending her choice of Pizza.

"Not the food. The manners. Get your butt off the counter." Her father explained.

"I…"

"Tables and chairs were invented for a reason. I suggested you rediscover that reason."

"Yes sir." Kensi said as she jumped down from her position on the counter.

"Thank you baby girl." Her father replied.

Kensi grabbed the box of Pizza and proceeded to the table with the rest of their dinner. Donald walked over joining his daughter at the table. He reached over removing a slice of Pizza from its delivery box.

"I swear sometimes this is all you eat child." Her father said.

"I like other things." She said, as she shoved the last bite of pizza in her mouth.

"Kensi, we have ate pizza three times in the last eight days." He explained trying to make his point to her evident.

"It's not my fault that this place is lacking in take out options. Maybe if we weren't in the middle of nowhere this wouldn't be a problem." She shot back. Kensi stood from the table gathering the empty pizza box to dispose of it. Once she had dropped the box into the garbage, she turned to face her father. Kensi stood with her back propped up against the refrigerator and her arms crossed over her chest, she was challenging him to say something back to her.

"It wont be forever Kensi. In a short time we will be headed to California and your options will be running over with acceptable take out places I promise. Until then try and enjoy yourself. Do you know how many girls your age would kill to live here?"

"I am not most girls dad." Kensi replied.

"You are defiantly not. You're one of a kind and don't you ever forget that."

"Before, you get all mushy on me again, I'm headed out for a while is that cool?" Kensi asked. Kensi sat back down in the chair at the kitchen table, pulling her boots on her feet, as she waited for her father's response.

"Where are you going?" Her dad asked.

"For a ride. I will be back in a few hours." Kensi explained.

"You know he still doesn't like me." Donald explained.

Kensi laughed, "Its not his fault you scare him every time you're around. You have to learn to be calmer, he is very laid back dad." Kensi explained.

Donald stood up from his chair and walked around the other side of the table to meet Kensi. When he was face to face with his daughter, he put both hands on her shoulders, "I will try to remember that. Have fun. I want you back in two hours." Her father said. Kensi nodded her head in agreement. Donald smiled then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Get out of here, and tell Romeo I said hi." Her father said.

Kensi rolled her eyes at her dad, "Whatever." She said. Kensi grabbed her jacket off the hook by the door, and bolted outside to meet him.

It took her only about ten minuets to get where she was going on foot. When she reached the entrance of the building she slipped inside quietly so she did not startle him. Slowly, she walked towards him. He must have heard her approaching footsteps because just a few seconds later he lifted his head and turned in her direction. Kensi walked over to him with a smile starting to form on her lips.

"Hi." She whispered as she moved in closer to him. She reached out and ran her fingers through his sandy blonde hair. God, he really loved it when she did that to him. Kensi leaned over and pressed a kiss to his nose.

"Dad says hi Romeo." Kensi said to her horse. "You ready to ride?" She asked, as she started gathering all the things she needed to saddle this beautiful creature.

"Sorry, we haven't been out for a few days." Kensi said to her horse as she slipped the bridal over his face. "Things have been crazy, obviously. Crazy enough that I am here talking to you." Kensi grabbed the blanket laying it over Romeo, then tossed the saddle on top of it. She pulled the girth around Romeo's belly to make sure the saddle would stay in place properly. When Kensi was satisfied that they were geared up and ready she led Romeo out of the stables. Once they were out in the opening, Kensi put her foot in the stirrup and used her upper body strength to pull herself up and mount her horse.

"Lets do this boy." She said to Romeo as she tugged gently at his reins and led him in the direction she wanted to proceed in.

Kensi led her horse over the rugged path near the wooded trail she had planned on taking. Kensi had always loved ridding her horse, it gave her time to think, time to be free, time to be anything but who she was. It didn't matter that no one was around, she actually liked it better that way. Besides for her father there weren't to many people in this world that Kensi actually wanted to be around these days. Everyone always had away of disappointing her or abandoning her when she needed them the most. Her mother was a perfect example of this.

The warm air of summer's end felt wonderful against her face, as she trotted Romeo on the trail. After she was satisfied that her horse's muscles had been warmed up properly, she opened him up into a full on gallop into the open wilderness of the desolate woods.

"That's it boy. Come on." She encouraged her horse.

Something about being on Romeo was intoxicating to her. She didn't know if it was the feel of the wind blowing through her hair, or the pounding of her heart that met the beat of her horses gallop every time his feet reconnected with the earth below. Whatever it was, it was freedom. It was perfect. Once they had completed their run, Kensi, pulled on the reins slowing her horse down into a walk.

"Good job boy." Kensi replied as she reached down and patted his neck. "We make a good team." Kensi said to Romeo, as they continued their walk to cool the horse down.

Kensi let her mind wonder over the current situation that was her life. She hated getting moved around from place to place so often, it never gave her the chance to fit in, to find a place in the world. At least she got to stay with her father, this was definitely worth the cost of being moved around all the time.

Kensi dismounted the horse, and walked by his side the rest of the way to the stables. She tethered the horse to the fence post so she could take all Romeo's gear off. She removed his saddle first placing it on the near by fence. She returned to Romeo to remove his blanket that was now soaked in swet from their trail ride. Kensi turned chunking the blanket in the direction of the fence, it missed the post where the saddle rested and fell on the ground just beneath it.

"Ready, to be set free?" Kensi asked as she moved around to the side of the horse's head. She reached around his neck and unfastened his bridal, slipping it down his slim narrow face. "Enjoy the rest of your day boy." Kensi said as she opened the swinging silver gate to let Romeo out into the pasture.

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is reading this story and sticking with me at my first attempt at an AU fic. The story will pick up in the next few chapters, I apologize to all of you who think its moving to slow. I have to established the relationship with Kensi and her father or otherwise the story will not make since further down the line. Please tell me what you think. If anyone has any ideas or suggestion feel free to let me know I would love to hear them all. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for everyone who has been reading and reviewing I appreciate it. As always I want to hear your thoughts. **

By the time Kensi had made it back to the house, the bottom seemed to fall out from the sky and all the rain humanly imaginable began to fall. "Perfect." She mumbled to herself. She removed her black ridding boots by the front door, as they were now covered in mud thanks to the temperamental weather of this time of year.

"Kensi? Is that you?" Her father called from the living room when he heard the front door click shut.

"Last time I checked we were the only ones who lived here dad." Kensi said entering the living room. She removed her jacket, laying it over the back of the couch, before she sat down.

"Damn, I forgot to tell you I moved have the town in while you were out."

"Ha ha. Your hilarious dad." Kensi turned her attention to the tv trying to figure out what movie it was her father was currently watching.

"What are you watching?" Kensi asked.

"Nothing, just some horror film that was on. Nothing good on at the moment." Her father explained.

"OK. I'm going to take a shower." Kensi said, as she stood up from the couch. Just before she had made it three stairs up the phone started ringing. "I will get it dad." Kensi replied, and then took off running up the remaining stairs.

Once Kensi made it to her room, she dived on her bed stomach first trying to catch the phone before the caller hung up.

"Hello." Kensi said.

"Kensi, finally. Where were you?" Kate asked.

"Ridding." Kensi responds simply.

"God girl, we have got to get you a life. Anyways not the point. What are you doing tonight?" Kate questioned.

"Flying away to my private island, with my super hot 6'2, blonde hair, blue eyed male model." Kensi replied sarcastically.

"You have to learn better social skills sweetie. Anyways a group of us are going to the movies tonight. Come with us." Kate explained.

"Why?" Kensi questioned.

"Cause you need a life."

Kensi sighed, "Alright." She agreed.

"Perfect. See you then." Kate said before disconnecting the call.

"Ok." Kensi mumbled to herself before returning the phone to its proper place on her bed side table.

After her brief conversation with Kate, Kensi proceeded to take her shower like she had set out to do in the first place. Kensi was dreading asking for her father's permission to go out tonight with Kate. It wasn't that her father really minded her going out. In fact, most of the times Kensi got to do what she wanted, but something about Kate her father just didn't like. Maybe if she just asked his permission to go to the movie and not mention Kate, perhaps he would say yes, she thought to herself as she padded down the stairs.

When Kensi entered the living room her father was still sitting in his recliner. "Hey dad." Kensi said as she walked around beside him.

She pulled the towel from her head, and shook her hair free as she started to dry her hair casually.

"Can I go to the movies tonight?" Kensi asked.

"What are you going to see?"

"Titanic. I heard it was suppose to be amazing from some girls at school, now I am curious." She admitted.

"Who are you going with?" Her father asked.

"Dad, I just want to see a movie. I don't need to be interrogated."

That got Donald's attention quickly, he grabbed the remote to the tv, and muted it.

"Excuse me?"

"Dad, I just want to go see one movie. What is the big deal?"

"The big deal is I asked you a question and when I ask you a question I expect an answer. Now, we will try this again. Who are you going with?"

"Kate, invited me. There will be other girls from school there too. I don't know how many." She explained.

"No."

"Why?" Kensi whined.

"Kate is trouble. You're not going with her. You can wait till this weekend and I will take you to see whatever you want."

"Maybe I don't want to go with you." Kensi complained.

"I really don't care what you want. This isn't up for discussion Kensi. That girl is trouble."

"Dad." Kensi complained stomping her foot.

"Stop it right now. You are fifteen not six" Her father ordered.

"But.."

"No." Her father said firm.

"I…"

"Enough Kensi Marie Blye! This conversation is over."

"Fine." She shouted at him, before turning to run up the stairs. Once she reached her room, she slammed the door shut just to emphasize her anger with her father.

"_Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war"_

Donald looked at his watch, two hours and fifteen minuets it had been since his daughter stormed away angry with him. He couldn't stand this, he couldn't handle her being angry with him. Deciding it was best to go talk to her Donald made his way upstairs to Kensi's room. He stood outside her bedroom debating on what to do, on what to say to her. He hated being the bad guy, but he needed her to understand where he was coming from, he needed her to understand how much she meant to him. Ever since Kensi had chosen to leave her mother and stay with Donald, he became even more protective over her. Having Kensi raised on the different military bases around the world, made her turn out tough, it made her challenge the people around her. At first Donald hated the idea of seeing his little girl grow up to be one of the guys, but the older she got the less he seemed to worry. It was comforting to him to know his daughter could out and not have to worry about anyone bothering her.

"Kensi. Can I come in?" Her father asked from outside her bedroom door.

"It's your house you can do what you want." Kensi said bitterly.

He turned the door knob and entered her room. She was laying on her bed, with her back facing the door. She had her blanket pulled up encompassing her entire body. The only part of her visible was her head. He sighed, walking over he sat down on the foot of the bed.

"Kensi. I know your mad at me right now. One day you will understand." Donald said.

"Understand what?" She asked not bothering to look at him.

"What it means to love someone so much that you would do anything in this world to keep them safe, even it meant them hating you." He explained.

"No I wont."

"I promise you will, and when you do, remember this moment Kensi. I am going out for a little while with Peter and Jake, we will be back in a few hours. I'm locking up when I leave. Now, get some sleep, and we will have pancakes in the morning for breakfast." Her dad said patting her leg.

Kensi rolled over to her other side, so she could see her dad as he was turning to leave her room, "Hey dad."

"Yeah." He said.

"I love you." She replied.

"I love you too baby girl." Donald smiled, taking one last look at his daughter he turned and left her room.

The door to her room clicked softly. Kensi waited until she heard the front door shut, and her father's car leave the yard, before she through her covers back and climbed out of her bed. Going over to the closet Kensi grabbed her favorite pair of black jeans, and an emerald green tank top she had just bought last week that she has been dying to wear.

Kensi was not one of those girls who had to spend hours in front of a mirror before she could leave the house, she always preferred casual and laid back. She brushed through her hair opting to leave it down tonight, her final touch to her outfit, was a silver heart necklace and earring set her father gave her for Christmas, and her favorite pair of black boots. Taking one last glace at her reflection in the mirror, Kensi decided she was satisfied with her appearance.

She made her way over to her window, and unlocked it. Even though she was planning on leaving out the front door, she had to take this precaution incase her father made it home before she did. Once she was confident she had done everything she needed to do, she grabbed her purse off her desk, and made her way downstairs, and out the very same door her father left out of only ten minuets earlier.

Kensi turned and looked back at the house, she felt something was off, she just didn't know what. She just assumed it was because she was sneaking out for the first time and disobeying her father's direct order. It's crazy how day to day nothing ever seems to change, but when you look back on that one defying moment everything seems different then it was.


	4. Chapter 4

"_They say when you love someone your heart knows when you have truly lost them." _

"I promise I will never let go." Rose whispered to Jack.

Something about those words sent a cold chill through Kensi's entire body. She had never been one much for romantic movies. In all truth she preferred horror movies just like her father. Something about this movie just seemed to have her full attention. Kensi didn't know what it was, she couldn't pin point the commonality between it and her life, but something was there, something she wasn't seeing, but she was definitely feeling it.

Through out the last hour of the movie an uneasy feeling began to form in the pit of her stomach. Her mind began to drift away from the movie into an unknown place. She wasn't really thinking about anything, but at the same time she was thinking about everything. Watching the end of the movie, the pictures displayed from different points in time really got to her. That was her breaking point. Kensi didn't want to cry at no movie, she damn sure didn't want to cry in front of her friends, but her emotions took over. Lucky, for her the other girls were all a blubbering mess of tears too. Unlike the others girls Kensi didn't not cry for the movie, she cried for something else, something that was living deep inside of her and was eating her up. Something she didn't understand.

When the movie had ended the girls made their way out of the theater and onto the darkened streets of their small town.

"So where to now?" Claire asked the group.

"I have to get Kensi home before her dad, and mine notice we are missing, and she kills me." Kate explained to Claire.

"Yeah, she totally might like stab you or something." Claire said.

Kensi glared at the two girls, this is exactly why she hated going out with them, or anyone for that matter. Deciding to play along with their stupidity Kensi smirked, "I would never stab Kate. I would just shot her. Its less messy." Kensi said with a smile as she walked away from the girls.

Kate and Claire stood their side by side as they watched Kensi cross the street.

"I uh better go take her home." Kate said to Claire.

"Good luck with that. Call me tomorrow if you're still alive tomorrow." Claire joked.

Kate ran over to the other side of the street trying to catch up with Kensi. Kate was the complete opposite of Kensi. Kate was a petite, blue eyed, blonde, who was Miss. Popularity at the school. Kensi only recently started talking to Kate because of Claire. Claire was also new to town like Kensi. Claire's family had just moved in less then two months ago from Australia.

"Hey, wait for me. These shoes are killing me." Kate said, as she ran to try to catch up with Kensi's quick pace.

"I imagine so."

"I cant help it you don't understand." Kate said.

"I cant help it you cant walk in the shoes you pick out. If you're going to wear them at least be able to walk in the damn things." Kensi replied looking down to the heals Kate had chosen to wear.

"They are not made for walking. Hello, they are made for pretty." Kate said with an attitude.

"I am sure you're going to be really pretty when you trip and fall and bust your face open. Glamorous!" Kensi retorted.

Kate stopped right before she unlocked the door to her car, "Sometimes I forget you were raised by your dad." Kate replied.

"Sometimes I forget I am surrounded by idiots." Kensi mumbled under her breath as she climbed into the passenger seat of Kate's car.

Kensi sat nervously in the front seat of Kate's car. Kate had been blabbering non stop about the movie, and truthfully Kensi had stopped listening to her about ten oh my gods ago. The rain outside was starting to fall, the wind was howling out of control, a storm was on the horizon. Darkness was moving in.

"Just let me out at the end of the driveway incase my dad is home already." Kensi explained to Kate when they had pulled onto the dirt drive.

"Are you sure, its raining."

"I'm sure. It's just water. It's not like I am going to drown or anything."

"Ok then. Good night."

"Good night." Kensi said as she opened the door.

"Kensi." Kate called to her right before she shut the door.

"Yeah?" Kensi asked leaning her head back into the car to shield herself from assault of the falling rain.

"Thanks for going. You're not all that bad for a marine brat." Kate replied.

Kensi laughed, "And you're not at all that bad for a snob." Kensi said.

"Thanks. See you around." Kate said.

"Maybe." Kensi replied. Kensi shut the door to Kate's car, and took of towards her house.

Once she reached her yard, she half expected to see her dad's car. It was a little after midnight, and he usually didn't stay out that late. He always made such a big deal about leaving her at home all night by herself. Seeing how her house was still vacant, she opted to use her front door, instead of the window she left unlocked in her room.

Kensi used her key and made her way into the house. As soon as her feet crossed the threshold she was hell bound on getting to her room, and changing before her father caught her. She took the stairs two at a time on the way to her room. She stripped her clothes off, and shoved them underneath her bed so her father would not notice them. Note to self, wash them tomorrow when dad is at work, Kensi thought to herself. She redressed in her night clothes, and slipped under the covers of her bed. She exhaled, she was so glad she had made it back home and into bed before her dad had noticed her missing. Closing her eyes, she let sleep overtake her.

Kensi opened her eyes to the bright sun assaulting her vision first thing on this particular morning. She rolled over to look at her clock on the bed side table. 9:17, strange she thought to herself, her dad never let her sleep in past eight. Kensi yawned, then pulled herself out of bed.

"Hey dad. You awake?" Kensi asked knocking on her dad's door. No reply, Kensi opened the door. His bed was still made, not slept in from what Kensi could tell. Kensi crinkled her nose in confusion, he has never not come home she thought to herself. Deciding he would be home any minuet now, Kensi made her way downstairs to start her morning routine.

Kensi opened the cabinets above the stove, to grab one large mixing bowl, and the pancake mix. Before she even started on this adventure the door bell rung.

"Did you forget your key dad?" Kensi asked as she flung open the front door. Standing there in the door way was Jake, her father's best friend.

"Hey Jake!" Kensi said cheerfully, she left the door wide open for him to enter her house and she returned to her task of attempting to make pancakes.

"I'm making pancakes for breakfast want some?" Kensi asked dumping the batter into the bowl. Jake said nothing, he just continued to stare at Kensi.

"What? I promise I wont catch anything on fire this time. Last time it really was an accident, I didn't mean to lay the dish rag down so close to the burner. Besides I am sure dad will be hungry when he gets here. By the way, where is he? I thought he was with you last night?" Kensi said.

"Take a walk with me Kensi." Jake said.

"Jake, I'm making breakfast for dad." Kensi said.

"Trust me Kensi, it don't matter."

"Jake, you're really creeping me out." Kensi said stepping back way from the counter.

"Come with me Kensi, please. We have to talk. It's about your dad." Jake explained.

"What about him? Where is he?"

"Kens."

"I am not going anywhere with you till you tell me where the hell he is at." Kensi demanded.

Jake exhaled, he hated to be the one to do this. He hated being the one to have to tell this little girl he watched grow up that the thing she loved most in the world was gone. He wanted to do it, sure he was a MP, but he was more then that, he was Donald Blye's best friend, and he owed him that.

"He is gone Kensi." Jake whispered.

Kensi walked up to Jake so they were now standing face to face. "Gone? Gone where? He wouldn't go anywhere with out me." Kensi shouted at him.

"Kensi. Baby, last night after he left from having drinks with us, he was in an accident. They found his car this morning in the ditch. He didn't make sweetheart."

"No! No! You're lying." Kensi shouted to him.

"I wish to God I was." Jake said trying to fight back his own tears.

"No…no." Kensi cried as she fell to her knees on the kitchen floor. Jake rushed to her side, he wrapped his arms around the hysterical girl, and held her while she cried.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Kensi." Jake repeated over and over again as he rocked her in his arms.

"Why did this happen? Why? Is this my punishment?" Kensi cried.

"Dear God, no child." Jake pulled back so he could look Kensi in the eyes. "Look at me, this is not your fault."

"You don't know that. You don't know me. You know nothing. Get off me." Kensi said as she shoved Jake on his butt, and took off out the front door.

She didn't know where she was going, she didn't know what she had planned to do. She just knew she needed out of there, she needed to be alone. She didn't want to believe it, there was no way her father could be gone. Not now, not like this. What would she do without him? Who would she become? That uneasy feeling that had been eating at Kensi since last night had just devoured her completely. Her world, her everything, it was gone, there was nothing left, no one left, she was completely and utterly alone in this world.

**A/N: Hope you all like enjoyed it thanks for reading. **

**.**


	5. Chapter 5

She ran until her feet hurt from the amount of anger that drove her on. She ran until her lungs burned, until her tears clouded her vision and she could no longer see. She found herself once again at her favorite spot down by the lake. So many times she had found herself here in this exact spot. She came here when she was happy, when she was sad, when she was lost, she came here when nothing else in the world made since to her. There was something about the peaceful serenity of the scenery that made her feel safe when she needed it the most.

She crossed her arms over her chest, and leaned her tired aching body against the tree. This was the tree she fell out of two summers ago and broke her arm. This was the same tree that had the initials DKB and KMB carved in its trunk. Everywhere she looked there were memories of him. Why? She cried out loud to the universe.

"Why did you leave me? You said we would always be together?" She screamed. Kensi walked over to the edge of the lake and looked down at her reflection. She could see him, her father, she knew it was just a hallucination. Just away for her mind to deal with the guilt and pain she was currently feeling. For the longest time she stood there staring and the false image that her mind had created. She wanted to turn around and scream daddy. She wanted nothing more in the world then to wrap her arms around his neck, and to wake up to find out this had all had just been a horrible nightmare.

"Why are you here?" Kensi asked to her father.

"_Because you need me to be." Her imaginary image of her father answered. _

"If that was true you wouldn't have left me."

"_I will never leave you. No matter where you go my home is where you are." _

"I don't have a home, or a life, I have nothing." She cried.

"_Do you remember the story about the caterpillar I use to tell you when you were a little girl?" Her hallucination asked. _

"I do. It was my favorite story."

"_What was the last line of the book Kensi?" _

Kensi cried, as she thought about the line her father was talking about. "Just when the caterpillar thinks her world is over she becomes a butterfly."

Kensi watched as her imaginary image of her father reached his hand out for her shoulder. Kensi closed her eyes, _"It's time to fly baby girl." he whispered to her. _When Kensi opened her eyes he was gone.

In life we never know what we are capable of until we are tested. We never know how strong are until we have to stand alone. We never realize this, we are never told this, some things in life you just have to experience on your own to fully understand.

**A/N: Thank you everyone who is reading and reviewing this story. Sorry this chapter was short it was just a filler chapter, the next chapter will be her father's funeral. **


	6. Chapter 6

"_Death leaves behind a heartache no one can heal, and a memory no one can steal." _

She stood in front of the full length mirror in her room looking at her reflection. This girl looking back at her she did not recognize. This girl was a stranger in her own eyes. She wore a simple black dress that came down to her knees, her hair was down and fell in lose waves over her shoulders, but that was not the unfamiliar part about this girl. This little girls eyes were blood shot red from tears of a life taken way to soon. This little girl's hands trembled with fear ,as she tried her hardest to put her heart locket her father had given her around her neck. She kept looking for something in the mirror, she kept expecting to turn and any second see her father by her side offering his assistants with her necklace. That wouldn't happened today, or tomorrow, or any other day for the rest of her life, she thought sadly. A gentle knock on the door pulled Kensi from her thoughts.

"It's time." Jake said.

Kensi turned one last time to her strange reflection in the mirror. She ran her hands over her dress, making sure everything was neat and in place for the funeral. Once she was satisfied things were as good as they were going to get, she followed Jake out of the room.

"If you need me I will be close by." Jake said.

"I don't know if I can do this." Kensi admitted.

"Yes, you can. You're Donald Blye's daughter you can do anything."

"How do you know that?" Kensi questioned.

"Because, that is how your father raised you." Jake explained. The two of them paused when they reached the back door. Kensi took in the people that were now pilling in to morn the loss of her father. Most of the men she was seeing here today were former Marines. Then, one person in particular caught her eye.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Kensi asked, letting go of Jake's arms she had currently been holding on to.

"She got here last night. She said she wanted to be here."

"She only came because she had to." Kensi said bitterly.

"She wanted to see you last night, but you were already asleep, and I refused to let her wake you." Jake explained.

"Thank you for that. I have nothing to say to her, and I don't wish to see her ever. If I could avoid her for the rest of my life that would be fantastic." Kensi said.

Kensi exhaled and made her way out into the crowd. One by one people came up to her offering their sympathies, and their willingness to do whatever it was she might need to get her through this dark time. Kensi just smiled and politely thanked each of them, when inside she was ready to snap and erupt at any give second. Why did they find the need to say sorry, what would that change? Why must they all tell her what a good man her father was? She knew this better then anyone. Things like this were what were driving her closer and closer to her breaking point. She did not break though, no she refused to fall weak in front of these Marines. Instead she smiled, when inside she was dying, she turned her feelings off and let herself become a vacant shell of emptiness.

"Kensi." A woman's voice called from behind her. Kensi turned her attention to see the woman in question. "You are so grown up." The woman said.

"Amazing how much three years can change someone." She said bitterly.

"Kensi, I am so sorry baby."

"You have never been sorry for anything a day in your life. Why start now mother?" Kensi explained.

"Kensi, don't be like that I am here for you." Julia said.

"You're here because you have to be, no other reason."

"That is not true and you know it."

"If it wasn't true then where have you been the past three years? You moved on with your new life and your new family in Boston, and forgot all about me, about dad. So don't you dare tell me how sorry you are." Kensi shouted at Julia.

"Kensi, I came because you need me. I came to take you home with me." Julie explained.

"Home? You mean your home. This is my home. These men here, these Marines, this is my family, not you. Not him. Not Boston." Kensi explained.

"I am sorry you feel that way. But regardless of what you want or how you feel, you are under 18 so you have no choice in the matter Kensi. I am the only family you have left, you will come with me. So we can either make the best of it or you can continue to be angry, either way you don't have a choice." Julia explained.

"You always have a choice mother. Now, if you will excuse me I am going to say goodbye to my father. Incase you forgot he is the man you betrayed." Kensi said as she turned and walked away from Julia.

Kensi sat in the front row by herself as the memorial to her father carried on. She listened in a daze as kind words and memories of her father were shared. Her mind drifted away from here to a happier place, to a place where she was not fatherless, to a place where her entire world was not falling apart. She vaguely recalled bits and pieces of the service. It wasn't until her father's commanding officer had presented her with her father's medallion and the flag that she was brought back to the harsh reality she was currently living in.

"We cherished your father as much as he cherished you." He said.

"Thank you sir this is a honor." Kensi responded as she accepted the items that had been presented to her.

"The honor is all ours Miss Blye." The Marine said as he saluted Kensi.

After the service was over Kensi sat in her same position, as she watched the people pay their respects and leave. She sat their waiting until their was no one left but her. Gathering all the courage she had left, she removed the items she had sitting in her lap, placed them on the chair next to her, and made her way over to the place she feared most in the world. When Julia saw Kensi approach her father's coffin she stated out after her, "No." Jake said grabbing Julia's arm. "This is something she has to do alone." He explained to Julia.

Kensi reached out and ran her fingers over the wood, that held her most valuable possession in this life. For a moment she just stood there, unsure of what to say or what to do. "I am sorry." She whispered. She reached up and snatched the heart necklace from around her neck, "Keep me with you wherever you go." She said as she lifted the side of the coffin and slipped the necklace to her father.

Kensi turned walking off with tears in her eyes. Just before she left the room she turned, "I will never let go." She said as she took off running out the room.

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Things after this chapter will start picking up a little bit as Kensi will make a decision in the upcoming chapters that will send her life on a new path, and find someone she never expected to find. **


	7. Chapter 7

It was nearly one that morning when Kensi came downstairs, and into the kitchen. Her mother was sitting at the table drinking coffee, with various papers spread out across the table in front of her. Julia looked up when she heard her daughter enter the kitchen.

"Kensi, what are you doing awake at this hour?" Julia asked looking at the clock on the stove.

"You didn't actually think I could sleep at a time like this did you?" She questioned.

"No, I don't suppose so." Julia replied turning her attention back to mess of papers in front of her.

Kensi opened the freezer and removed her tub of Rocky Road. She opened the tub, placed the lid on the counter and grabbed a spoon, then made her way over to the table where Julia sat.

"What are you doing?" Kensi asked.

"A bunch of legal mess nothing for you to worry about. What are you doing eating ice cream in the middle of the night?"

"First off it's 1:16 its not the middle of the night technically it's the next day. Second dad let me do it."

"Well your father is not here now." Julia replied.

"Looking at you here in my house is a constant reminder of that fact." Kensi retorted as she took a bite of her ice cream.

"Kensi, don't use that tone of voice with me. I am your mother." Julia replied.

"Really? Prove it." Kensi challenged.

"Fine." Julia said. Julia grabbed the tub of ice cream away from Kensi, and threw it in the trash can. "Now go to bed, its one in the morning." Julia demanded.

"I hate you." Kensi said.

"You will get over it." Julia replied.

"I wouldn't bet on it." Kensi said before she ran upstairs to her room.

Once she was in her room, her anger seemed to explode. Kensi grabbed a framed picture of her and her father off her dresser and threw it and the back of the door.

"Damn it." Kensi shouted to no one in particular.

She couldn't take this, she wouldn't take this. Her mother wanted to tell her she had no choice, but her father always taught there was always a choice you just had to be brave enough to make it. Tonight she was going to be brave, tonight she would chose her own destiny. Fueled by anger and determination, Kensi grabbed her book bag and dumped the contents of it out on her bed.

She rummaged through her dresser grabbing her a few change of clothes, her hair brush, and the money she had been saving from working this past summer, and packed it in her bag. She opened her jewelry box that sat next to her bed and removed her collection of jelly bracelets, her father's knife, and his medal she had been given at the funeral.

Kensi kneeled down next to the door, near the remains of the shattered picture frame. Inside of the broken glass was a picture of her and her father from last summer. It was taken at a dinner they had with his fellow marines. She had been dressed in a white dress, and she remembered taking this picture perfectly, because it was the first she had taken since she had her hair cut for school that year. Her father stood next to her, his arm thrown of her shoulder like he always did. He was dressed in his uniform and had a smile plastered on his face. Carefully, she removed this little reminder of a life that she once had. It hadn't even been a week since her father was killed tragically. Five days to be exact, she had been counting every painful second of her life without him. She tucked the picture safely away, and took one last look around to make sure she had everything from this life she wanted to take with her.

Kensi climbed out of her window and into the darkness of night. She ran down the drive way and towards the road. Once she reached the end, she paused. Turning back she took one last look at her world, at her life, at everything she has ever known. This part of her life was over, this part of her was dead and gone. It was time for her to fly like her father told her in her hallucination. So tonight she would open her wings, and see where the wind would guide her.

Kensi had been walking for several hours now and her tiredness was starting to get the best of her. It was almost five am now, and she had know idea where she was going. So she continued to walk along this lonely road she had set out upon. The wind was beginning to pick up and she could tell it was probably going to rain soon. "Perfect." Kensi mumbled to herself, as her luck would have it she would chose a night it was going to storm to runaway. In the distance Kensi saw a few street lamps, that were lighting up a park.

"Good enough." She said as she headed in the direction of the park.

When she reached the park it was deserted. Of course it's deserted who comes to a park at five in the morning she thought to herself. She found an empty bench that was near the swings, and plopped herself down. Her feet were tired and sore from walking for countless hours, she was hungry and her exhaustion was quickly catching up with her.

Kensi pulled her jacket tightly to her body. The wind was cool that night, and chilled her to the bone. Everything was quite, almost to quite for Kensi. She was always use to the noise. Kensi was just about to fall asleep when the sounds of approaching footsteps jarred her wide awake.

"Whoa! Easy killer, I was just going to see if I could sit?" The boy said pointing to the empty space on the bench next to Kensi.

"It's a free country." Kensi said. She relaxed and sat back against the bench like she had preciously been before his approach.

The boy nodded his head in thanks and sat down next to her. "You must be new in town, I have never seen you before. What is your name?" He asked trying to make polite conversation with Kensi.

"None of your business." She responded.

The boy laughed, "Nice to meet you none of your business, I am…"

"Pain in the ass." Kensi said cutting him off.

"Oh my God! How did you know?" The boy asked.

Kensi couldn't help but laugh at this. "You looked like one."

"So, none of your business. What are you doing running away from home?"

"What makes you think that I am?" Kensi asked.

"Its 5:04 am, you are sitting alone on a park bench with a book bag, and you look like you just lost your best friend." The boy explained.

"Maybe I did. Lose my best friend that is." Kensi admitted. She turned her attention to the boy sitting next to her for the first time. The first thing that caught Kensi's attention was his eyes, they were the brightest blue she had ever seen in her life. His hair was a blonde, he wore a pair of blue jeans, and a grey hoodie. Average, normal, definitely not a serial killer, Kensi thought to herself taking in the boy's appearance.

"Sorry to hear that. About your friend." He said. He paused for a brief moment then smiled. He extended his hand out to her, "I'm Marty. You know incase you want a friend."

Kensi reached out shaking Marty's hand. "Kensi." She whispered.

Marty stood up, "Want to take a walk? I hate sitting still?" He asked.

Kensi hesitated for a brief moment. Her father had always told her to trust her instincts, her instincts told her this boy meant no harm to her. She shrugged her shoulders, and stood up from the bench. "Sure. It's not like I have anywhere else to be." She said.

The two of them made their way through the park. "You never did tell me, why are you running away?"

"It's complicated." Kensi replied.

"Let me guess, your boyfriend got you pregnant and skipped town or you got cut from the cheerleading team?" Deeks asked.

"Why are you out here?" Kensi asked.

"Nope, no fair. I asked you first princess."

"I don't care, and don't call me princess."

"Attitude. I like it." Marty said.

"Deeks!" Someone shouted as they ran across the park to where he and Kensi were at.

"Hey man, what's up." Deeks said.

"I was looking for you. You coming tonight. We got food?"

"Yeah. Sure." Deeks turned his attention to Kensi, "She is coming too."

"I am?" Kensi asked.

"You are. I will see you in a little bit Ray."

"Ok Deeks." Ray said. Then he took off jogging back in the direction he had previously come from.

"Deeks?" Kensi asked.

"It's my last name. Everyone sort of calls me that." He explained.

"It's better then Marty." Kensi said with a smile.

"Touche Kensalina."

"Kensalina?" She asked.

"It's better then Kensi." He said returning her smile.

She laughed and just shook her head at him. "Come on, lets go eat before the food gets cold." Deeks said.

"What makes you think I am going anywhere with you?" Kensi questioned.

"First off you have nowhere else to go you said so yourself. Secondly, you have no friends, and thirdly.."

"I think you mean third?"

"Thirdly, you're hungry I can hear your stomach growling from over here." He explained.

Kensi rolled her eyes at Deeks. "Seriously, come eat with us. No one will bother you I promise, I got your back partner." Deeks said.

Kensi didn't know if she should trust this mysterious, good looking stranger. She did however know three things one she could take care of herself, two she was hungry, and three she really had nowhere else to go. Kensi shrugged her shoulders, "What the hell." She said.

**A/N: Thank you to everybody who is still reading this story. Hopefully, now that Kensi has met Deeks things will be more interesting for you guys. I hope you enjoyed it. **


	8. Chapter 8

Kensi and Deeks walked through the quite streets of the small neighborhood. Much to Kensi's relieve, Deeks did not seem to be taking her to some kind of wild party filled with a bunch of invocated fools.

"You ok?" Deeks asked as they walked down the desolated street.

"I'm fine" She replied.

"Here we are." Deeks said as he pointed to the second to last house on the right.

"This is it?" Kensi asked. The house itself was average size for the area. It had a black iron fence around the front that fenced off the yard. There were three windows across the front, and small flowers in various colors outlined the path of the cement walkway that led to the front door.

"This is it. What? Were you expecting me to take you to some kind of drunken rave?" Deeks asked jokingly.

"I don't know. Maybe, I was just kind of…."

"Afraid?" Deeks asked cutting her off mid sentence.

"I am not afraid of anything." Kensi clarified quickly.

"Somehow, I don't doubt that. I get the feeling you are more then capable of taking care of yourself."

"You got that right."

"Come on." Deeks said opening the fence.

The two of them made their way up to the front door of the quite suburban home. Just before Deeks could reach for the door knob, Ray opened the front door.

"About damn time, we were going to eat without you." Ray said motioning them into the house, "the food is on the stove help yourself." Ray said to Kensi.

"This way." Deeks said to Kensi. The two of them made their way into the kitchen, with Ray close behind them. "Here." Deeks said removing a plate from the cabinet and handing it over to Kensi. Just about the time Kensi had got done making her plate a medium size chocolate lab came running into the kitchen barking at Ray aggressively.

"I swear this dog is angry at me for something. You better do something with him he hates me." Ray said.

"Dogs don't get angry they go mad." Kensi replied. She sat her plate down on the counter and kneeled down to the dog in question. "Come here boy." She called to him. Without any doubt from the lab he trotted off to Kensi, and allowed her to pet him.

"Ok does Wikipedia have a name?" Ray asked.

"None of your business." Deeks said looking to Kensi with a smile.

"You're hilarious." Kensi said sarcastically. Kensi stood up from petting the dog, and turned her attention to Ray. "I'm Kensi. Does this pain in the ass live here?" She questioned.

"Oh, I like her." Ray said looking over to Deeks. "He more or less lives here you could say." Ray explained to Kensi.

"Ray, Deeks are you two coming." A blonde girl said as she walked into the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. Her look turned from happy to pissed when she saw Kensi leaning up against the counter at Deeks side.

"Who is she?" The girl asked.

"She is none of your business Nicole. Lets go." Ray said grabbing the blonde by the hand and leading her out of the kitchen.

Once Ray and Nicole were out of the kitchen Kensi turned to Deeks.

"Why do I get the feeling she doesn't like me?" Kensi asked.

"Because she doesn't like anyone." Deeks explained. He grabbed his plate as he led Kensi out of the kitchen, and into the living room.

"I think you are wrong about that one." Kensi said with a grin. She sat down on the couch next to Deeks, with her plate in her lap.

"What do you mean?"

"She most definitely likes you." Kensi said.

"Why would you say that?" Deeks questioned her.

"Because, when she walked into the kitchen and saw me she looked like she was ready to throw down. She looked at me as if I had stepped in on something that belonged to her. But you don't like her back that way do you?"

"How in the world can you possibly know that?"

"I am good at reading people. Something I learned a long time ago, always be aware of your surroundings and who is around you at all times." She explained.

"Well ok then." Deeks responded.

"Am I wrong about Nicole?" Kensi asked curiously. She took a bite of her pizza then sat it back down on her plate, turning her full undivided attention to Deeks.

Deeks thought for a moment before he answered her. It was strange for him to have this kind of connection to someone he had just met. It was strange to him to have any kind of connection with anyone at all. After his childhood he never really trusted anyone enough to share things with, he never really had anyone who really cared to know things about him before.

Deeks sighed, "No. You're not wrong about her. She is Ray's girl, she is suppose to be anyways. In one way or another she has always been in love with me." Deeks admitted.

"What about you do you love her?" Kensi asked tilting her head to the side, and biting on her lower lip.

Deeks laughed, "No, not even close. No need to get jealous sugarbear." Deeks said with a grin. Kensi reached over and punched him in the shoulder.

"Oh shit! What was that for?" Deeks asked.

Kensi laughed, "The nicknames."

"Well you better get use to them sunshine." Deeks said rubbing his now sore shoulder. "By the way where the hell did you learn to punch like that?"

"Family." She responded.

"Who's family Xena's?"

Kensi snorted. Deeks watched as her expression went from amused to heartbroken in thirty seconds flat. Then barley above a whisper Kensi replied, "My dad."

Deeks watched as he could almost literally see her heartbreaking. Her dad, he thought to himself. He wonder what it was that had happened between them, was he the reason she ran away? Was he the best friend she lost? So many things he wanted to ask her, so many things he would love to know. Right now he knew was not that time. Right now he knew she needed a friend more then anything else in the world. Deeks decided right there, while Kensi was sitting on the couch just a foot away from him, that he would be that for her.

**A/N: What do you guys think? Thanks to those reading and reviewing this story. **


	9. Chapter 9

They sat in silence for almost ten minuets until Deeks couldn't take it anymore. "Your dad, is he the friend you lost?" Deeks asked.

"You know for a stranger I just met you ask a lot of questions." Kensi replied.

"Then answer them and we wont be strangers."

"He died a week ago tomorrow. He was my best friend." She admitted.

"I am sorry. I had know idea." Deeks replied sympathetically.

"Well now you do." Kensi said trying to lighten the mood. "What about you? What is your story?" Kensi questioned.

"My father is an abusive bastard. My mom and I don't get along so I left. I wasn't old enough to be on my own, so I came to stay with Ray he is 19 . Ray got his own place last year when he turned 18, his family also not friendly." Deeks explained.

"My mom and I don't get along either she is the reason I ran away." Kensi admitted.

Deeks laughed, "Well aren't we quite the couple." He replied.

"You wish." Kensi said.

"More then you know sweetheart."

Kensi found it so easy to talk to him. They seemed to have a natural chemistry as if they had been friends their entire lives. Kensi wasn't one for opening up or sharing her personal life with anyone, and yet here she was sharing things with Deeks.

"What are you smiling at princess?" Deeks asked with a sly grin.

"Was I smiling?" She asked.

Deeks reached over and brushed her hair behind her ears, "You were and now your blushing. What were you thinking about?" He questioned.

"Not you." She responded quickly, probably to quickly.

"The fact that you said not me, tells me it was in fact me." He said proudly. "So what exactly about me were you thinking sunshine?" Deeks asked looking right into her mismatched eyes.

Kensi hesitated, she wanted to quip back with a like I would ever tell you, or something smart ass, but when he looked into her eyes all of those thoughts were erased. She saw something deep within the depths of those piercing blue eyes something she could not lie to. "You're so easy to talk to. It seems like I have known you forever." Kensi admitted. As soon as the words left her mouth she was almost stunned at what she had just said, at what she had just admitted. It was the truth, but why she said it aloud she hadn't the faintest idea.

Without breaking the seriousness of the moment Deeks reached out, he laid one hand on top of her hand, "Maybe you were meant for me." He replied.

"Phhh. Please tell me that girls don't actually fall for that line." She said jokingly trying to break the serious mood they were currently in.

Deeks turned his head to the side, "I don't know. I have never used it before." Deeks admitted.

Kensi stood up abruptly from couch, "I better go. It's getting late, well early actually." Kensi said looking at her watch.

"Go where?" Deeks questioned.

Kensi didn't say anything. She really didn't know where she would go, she didn't really have a plan honestly.

"That is exactly what I thought. You don't have anywhere to go do you?" Deeks asked.

"No, but I can find somewhere." Kensi said.

"Are you crazy? Do you know what people out there would do to a girl like you? This isn't the place to be roaming the streets all by yourself. I know you're all bad ass and all but still. You can stay here."

"You want me to stay here with you? I just met you?" Kensi reminded him.

"Ok, that is true and a legitimated reason. But here me out ok. Your safer here, no one will hurt you. Ray cant fight to safe his life, Nicole and you I would pay to see in a fight, and me I would never want to fight you because you would just kick my ass and ruin my reputation as a bad ass because I got beat up by a girl." Deeks explained.

Kensi laughed at his honesty.

"Come on." Deeks said reaching his hand out to her. Kensi sighed and gave in taking his hand. He led her out of the living room and upstairs. He opened the door to his room. To Kensi shook the room was all neat, it was not disorganized, it wasn't what she figured a typical room for him would look like. The first thing she noticed was the surfing magazines, and the pictures on the wall of him surfing.

"This is my room, that is now your room. Make yourself at home. I will stay on the couch."

"Down stairs?" Kensi questioned.

"Yeah. That is the only couch we have."

Deeks turned to leave the room, "Deeks." Kensi called.

"Yeah?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but will you stay here in this room. I don't know anyone here, and I trust you. I don't….."

Deeks reached over and grabbed a blanket and pillow. He threw it together on the floor.

"I will stay as long as you need me." Deeks said as he sat down on his make shift bed on the floor.

Kensi crawled into Deeks bed, "How is forever?" She joked.

"I am not going anywhere."

Kensi relaxed for the first time since she had left the safety of her own home. She felt something about Deeks, something she has never felt before. Her heart raced when she was around him, but she was not afraid. Her hands trembled whenever he was near to her, but she was not nervous, and her stomach was filled with butterflies.

"Good night Kensalina." Deeks said.

"Good night Deeks." Kensi said as she reached over and turned off the light.

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews on this story. I hope you all like where this is going and enjoy this new chapter. **

She tossed and turned throughout the night. Her nightmares haunted her, her terrors showed up every time she closed her eyes. Deeks woke that night to the muffled sound of Kensi's whimpering cries. He sat up on the floor, looking around his a room. It took him a moment to remember where he was, and why he was sleeping on the floor of his own room. Then he heard her whimpers and he remembered. He smiled, for a while there he had almost thought he had dreamed this perfect day up, this perfect girl. Deeks moved over to sit on the bed beside her.

"Kensi." He said.

Kensi opened her eyes, and jumped up out of the bed. "Whoa! Easy you're ok." Deeks said putting his hands up to show her he meant no harm. Kensi laid back down in the bed and turned her back away from Deeks. She tried so hard not to cry, she didn't want to do this not hear, not now. She couldn't help it; she had been fighting it for far too long. So she cried.

"Kensi?" Deeks asked.

Kensi rolled over to face Deeks. Her eyes were red; her tears were running down her face uncontrollably. She looked up at him. "What's wrong? What can I do?" Deeks asked Kensi.

"I see him when I close my eyes. Every night he is there. Every night I try to do things differently, I don't leave, I tell him not to leave, and… and it always ends the same. He dies." She explains.

Deeks looked at her confused for a moment, and then all of a sudden it clicked, "Your dad?" Deeks asked.

Kensi nodded her head yes as she tried to gain control of herself. Deeks eased himself down next to her in the bed; he reached his arms out around Kensi's shoulder and brought her body close to his. She rested her head on his chest, and he ran his fingers through her hair, as he held her while she fell apart.

"It's ok. I have got you baby girl." Deeks said. Deeks didn't really know what to do. He didn't really know what to say that could take away the pain she was feeling. He had never been good with emotional stuff, so he just held her until she cried herself to sleep. Long after she had fallen asleep, Deeks just kept watching her sleep. He didn't want to close his eyes; he didn't want her to have another nightmare that he could stop.

The next morning Deeks was still awake, he never did close his eyes the night before. Instead he spent the whole night watching this beautiful broken girl sleep in his arms. Kensi yawned, looking up from her position on Deeks chest.

"Good morning sunshine." He said.

"Morning." She said as she pulled herself up into a sitting position. "I'm.. Oh God this is really embarrassing."

Deeks smiled at her, "You're gorgeous even first thing in the morning after crying all night long."

Kensi smiled sweetly at his gesture of trying to make her feel more comfortable. "I.. I am sorry for falling apart." Kensi whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Deeks replied.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Deeks questioned.

"Being you. Not many guys are as honorable as you." Kensi explained

"I told you, you will always be safe with me. I meant it." Deeks admitted. Deeks climbed out of the bed, and turned back towards Kensi. "How about breakfast?" Deeks asked extending a hand to Kensi. Kensi smiled taking his hands, "Sounds great. I am starving." Kensi said.

Kensi and Deeks made their way into the kitchen. Deeks grabbed skillets, and laid them out on the stove.

"What?" Deeks asked when he turned around to find Kensi smiling at him.

"I can't cook." Kensi said honestly.

"Well lucky for you, I can. Now get your butt over and assist me." Deeks explained.

"I will try. I can't make any promises." Kensi laughed.

Deeks grabbed a bowl and the cartoon of eggs and placed it in front of Kensi. Deeks leaned in close to Kensi, "I will give you an easy job. One I have no doubt you can manage. Crack these eggs so I can make us an omelet." Deeks said.

Kensi blushed, and her heart beat rapidly at their closeness. She instinctively moved in closer towards Deeks.

"Hey man!" Ray said.

Kensi and Deeks pulled away from each other. "Morning Deeks, Wikipedia. What's for breakfast?" Ray asked clearly oblivious to the fact her interrupted their moment.

"Possibly omelets, if Kensi ever gets the eggs cracked here." Deeks said putting it off on Kensi.

Kensi rolled her eyes at Deeks, then started cracking the eggs in the bowl for breakfast. "Well seeing has you two of have this situation under control; I am going to just go now. So um yeah enjoy." Ray said awkwardly.

Deeks and Kensi both laughed as Ray turned and walked off into the other room.

"What's was that all about?" Kensi asked Deeks as soon as Ray exited the room.

"It's Ray, who the hell knows," Deeks explained. "You have those eggs ready for me yet sweet cheeks?" He asked.

"Yep. Eggs are ready." Kensi said. She moved over towards Deeks who was standing at the stove, she placed the bowl down beside him on the counter that held the content of the cracked eggs he was seeking. "So where did you learn how to cook?" Kensi questioned.

"I kind of just taught myself. I was in one of those situations where it was learning to cook and take care of yourself or starve, because the people in my house that called themselves my parents sure as hell were not going to do it." Deeks explained. Deeks turned his attention to Kensi as he added the eggs to skillet. "What about you? How did you not learn how to cook?" He joked.

Kensi smiled and jumped up on the counter beside Deeks to sit on. "My mom wasn't around she left my dad a few years ago for another. She tried to take me with her, but I ran away back to my dad. It's has always been him and me since then."

"And your mom? Where is she now?" Deeks asked.

"I imagine she is heading back to Boston. That is where she thought she was taking me."

"Where was home?" Deeks asked.

"It's always been all over the place. My dad was a marine so we traveled a lot. We were about to move to California." Kensi admitted. Deeks took an omelet out of the skillet, flipped it onto the plate, then passed the plate to Kensi.

"So was that your plan, head to California?" Deeks wondered.

"It was."

"And what happened to your wonderful plan?" Deeks joked.

"I was side tracked by something I never expected to find." She said with a smile.

"Well that makes two of us princess." He said with a smile. "Now, eat we have stuff to do today."

"We do?" She asked confused.

"We do indeed Kens."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay here is the newest chapter if anyone is still with me on this story. If you all have sometime check out my newest Densi fics called Don't you want to stay and Pieces of my heart. Hope you enjoy!**

Julia sat at the kitchen table with the shards of the shattered picture frame from Kensi's room in her hands. She didn't understand what was wrong with her daughter; she didn't understand how she could possibly hate her so much. Then again Kensi always was her daddy's little girl.

"Julia." Jake called through the open screened door of Donald Blye's home.

"Come in please Jake, I need your help. " She said fighting back the tears. Jake looked around the house taking in the surroundings. Something you learned to do quickly in his line of work. He looked over her shoulder and saw the shattered glass on the table.

"Where is Kensi?" Jake asked. Over the past few years Jake had become very close with Donald and his daughter. He practically was part of their family.

"I don't know." Julia said covering her mouth as she started to cry.

"You don't know? How can you not know where your daughter is?" Jake questioned.

"We had a fight earlier."

"A fight? Are you insane arguing with her right now, with the trauma she has just been through?"

"She didn't want to listen to me, and I sent her to her room for bed."

"And let me guise she ran away." Jake said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, how did you know? Do you know where is? Her friends does she have any she would go too?" Julia questioned.

"I know because unlike you I know your daughter. Friends, no she has some but none she would go to. Kensi would see going to someone else for help a sign of weakness. She won't ask anything from anybody until she is certain of them." Jake explained.

"Certain of what?" Julia asked as she made her way over to dispose of the broken glass.

"Their trust. It's the number one thing her father always taught her, trust it's everything. If she trusts someone she will count on them, like she did her father, and I. And if she doesn't well.. Kensi will be Kensi and find a way to do it on her own that is what she does best."

"I don't know what to do. I don't know where to look." Julia explained.

"Don't look. She will find you if and when she is ready. Trust me Kensi can take care of herself she has had many lessons, and her father has taught her how to survive anywhere."

"What in the world did Donald teach our daughter?" Julia asked.

"Everything she will ever need to know. I am headed out in two weeks I will be in Germany after that. If I hear from Kensi I will let you know, but believe me when I say no one is going to find her until she is ready to be found." Jake explained.

"I will find her." Julia said.

"And then what will you do once you have? Will you force her to come back with you? Will you ground her when doesn't do what you want? She is only going to run again, and the harder you look the faster she will run."

"What if she is hurt? What if she needs me?"

"Trust me this is something she needs to do. Let her be, let her see if she can fly on her own."

"And what if she cant?" Julia questioned.

"When the baby bird tries to fly for the first out of the nest and lands on her face instead of soaring in the clouds the mother bird always takes her back to the nest."

"I will always take her back."

"She knows that. She may not show it but she does. "Jake explained as he turned and headed to exit the house.

"Thank you. And Jake if you talk to Kensi, tell her she can always come home."

"I will. Goodbye Julia." Jake replied.

"Goodbye Jake, and thank you for always looking out for Kensi."

"Look when you said we had things to do today this is not exactly what I had in mind." Kensi replied as they walked together.

"Oh come on sugar plum what teenage girl dosen't want to be at the beach with me."

"Your awfully sure of yourself there aren't you Romeo?" Kensi asked.

"Only when it comes to you." Deeks said flashing her his trademark grin.

Kensi didn't know what it was about him that got her. Was it his smile, his blue eyes, or was it his aggravating little nick names for her. She didn't know what it was, but whatever it was its was definitely there. There was something between them and there was no denying that.

"So is this what you do all day? Walk around the beach to pick up chicks all day long."

"Nope. Not even close. And besides I don't need to try and pick up girls." Deeks replied.

"Yeah why not?"

Deeks smiled, he knew where this was going so he decided to cave in and give her what he knew she wanted to hear. He smile, slung his arm around her shoulder and then replied with, "I already have one."

Kensi smiled at his gesture of affection to her. "Good to know Shaggy. Good to know." She said. Her heart felt free like it hadn't in a long time. She felt happy and didn't feel guily about being happy for once. Ever since her father died, she felt like she was not allowed to be happy. She felt like being happy would somehow dishonor his memory. She knew though deep down inside of her that no matter how much time had passed she would always have the hole in her heart that would never heal because of his death. Sometimes the point though isn't to heal, but just to learn to deal. Besides if her father was here and knew he would want her to be happy. To have the life he always wanted her to have.

"So, if we are not here to pick up girls, then what exactly are we at the beach for at ten in the morning?" Kensi wondered.

"You will see all in good time my sweet." Deeks said.

"Good the nicknames get any worse?"

"I have millions on top of a millions I have been saving just for you my sweet."

"My sweet? Really? Not even my grandma says that anymore. You need to stick with names from this decade please."

"You got sunshine." He replied.

Kensi laughed, "That is better, not great but better."


End file.
